Thomas "Tommy" J. Ryder, Jr.

Thomas “Tommy” J. Ryder, Jr., 55, of West Haven, passed away peacefully at his residence on December 23, 2024. Born in New Haven on March 1, 1969, he was the beloved son of Thomas J. Ryder, Sr. and Mary Taylor Ryder. In addition to his parents, Tommy is survived by his sister Bridget Ryder and her husband, Lewis Custer, as well as his stepmother, Carol Ryder.

For 22 years, Tommy dedicated his career to Metro North Railroad, where his passion and commitment shone brightly. His diverse interests included a fascination with astronomy, a deep appreciation for classic films, particularly those of the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges, and an admirable collection of German beer steins and Irish records. He was also an avid fisherman who cherished the annual trips with his dad, Tuck, and his friend Bill, reveling in the joy of crabbing by the water.

Tommy's annual visits to Disney World were a highlight of his life, where he would make a special pilgrimage to the German venue and relish the experience at the sci-fi restaurant. His love for music began in childhood as he admired his uncle Martin playing the drums, an instrument he would later master himself. At just 13, he joined his father’s Irish band and remained a vital part of the ensemble for an impressive 42 years.

A lover of people, particularly the older generation, Tommy was known for his kindness and genuine care for his family. His passion for history encompassed various topics, including Savin Rock, television shows, music, and the railroad.

Tommy was a good person, deeply loved by many, and his legacy of love will live on in the hearts of all who had the privilege to know him.

Arrangements have been entrusted to West Haven Funeral Home at the Green. Calling hours will be held on Sunday, December 29th from one to three o’clock. Interment will remain private.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Tommy’s memory to The Mulkerin School of Irish Dance in West Haven; checks may be made payable to Emerald Dancers and mailed to:  Emerald Dancers, 20 Leonard Street, West Haven, CT 06516.

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